Let us consider a husband in his 60s with more than three decades of married life. He often reflects on the past and the life he and his wife have built together. He feels nostalgic and cherishes the memories they have created as a couple. Reminiscing about their journey most times evokes a sense of joy and fulfilment.
Couples who have spent decades together usually develop a deep and lasting love for each other. Their shared experiences, memories, and journeys together strengthen their bond. All of this is good, but there’s no guarantee the two won’t get into an argument.
But, when you reach a point in your life where you feel final it’s time to stop arguing with your spouse. It can be a positive step toward creating a more peaceful and harmonious relationship. Here are a few considerations to help you handle these battles skillfully.
You both are “seasoned soldiers” therefore choose your battles wisely. Understand that not every issue needs to be debated or resolved immediately. Prioritize the matters that are truly important and let go of minor disagreements or things that can be overlooked.
Having spent so many years together, there must be common grounds of agreement and values you share. If you look for them, let me assure you there are many. It’s just that you have not been looking in the right direction. Focus on finding solutions that satisfy you both rather than getting caught up in a win-lose mentality.
The quality of communication is the key. Examine how you communicate with your spouse during arguments. Identify certain patterns or behaviours that escalate the situation. Active listening, expressing yourself calmly, and avoiding personal attacks are the ways to ways to improve your communication. Ensure you don’t ask embarrassing questions because chances are that your spouse will have the answer. So they best be avoided.
Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and try to see things from their perspective. Empathy can help nurture compassion and help sort out the difference in opinions.
Give rightful priority to your physical and emotional needs. Self-care is essential. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and reduce stress is certainly. When you feel emotionally balanced, you’re more likely to douche fire with a calmer mindset.
Instead of arguing, consider using different options to resolve conflicts, such as compromise, negotiation, or seeking professional help through life coaching/therapy. These approaches can provide a structured and supportive environment to address issues constructively.
Shift your attention to the positive aspects of your relationship spanning over decades. Remind yourself of the love, companionship, and shared history you have with your spouse. Be thankful for the good times and work on building new positive experiences together.
It is important to understand that our experiences and feelings can vary greatly. Remember that your relationship is unique and what works for other couples may or may not work for you. Keep experimenting though.
Bình luận