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Colonel Prashant Rawal

Navigating Hurtful Words: A Guide to Maintaining Composure

Updated: Aug 27


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In the tumultuous journey of life, we often encounter moments that test our composure and resilience. One such challenge arises when faced with hurtful words. Whether they come from a loved one, a colleague, or a stranger, the sting of harsh language can leave a lasting impact if not handled with care. Today, let’s explore how we can maintain our composure in the face of hurtful words and emerge stronger than ever.

Recognising that hurtful words often stem from the speaker’s insecurities, fears, or frustrations is essential. They may be projecting their inner turmoil onto others, using words as a means of release. “यथा पिण्डे तथा ब्रह्माण्डे”( “Yathā pinḍe tathā brahmāṇḍe’), this shloka suggests that the external world is a reflection of one’s inner self.

Understanding this can help us detach from the hurtful remarks and see them for what they truly are: a reflection of the speaker’s inner state, rather than a reflection of our worth.

Above all, remember that the words of others do not determine our worth. We possess inherent value and dignity that external forces cannot diminish. Cultivate a sense of self-love and acceptance that transcends the opinions and judgments of others. Recognise your strengths, celebrate your achievements, and embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you uniquely beautiful.



An Art of Emotional Mastery

Maintaining composure in the face of hurtful words is not a passive act of suppression but rather an art of emotional mastery. It requires a delicate balance of self-awareness, empathy, and inner strength. Here, I offer some guiding principles to help navigate the turbulent waters of verbal conflict and emerge with grace and resilience:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness: Be mindful and understand the triggers that ignite your emotional responses and acknowledge the vulnerabilities that lie beneath the surface. By recognising your emotional hotspots, you empower yourself to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

2. Practice Empathy: Hurtful words often stem from the speaker’s pain or anxiety. Instead of acknowledging negative feedback, try to relate to their perspective. Recognize that their words may reflect their struggles rather than a true condemnation of your worth. Responding with empathy not only relieves tension but also promotes connection and understanding.

3. Choose Your Battles: Not every verbal altercation warrants a response. Learn to discern between constructive criticism and senseless provocation. Reserve your energy for meaningful conversations and refrain from engaging in petty arguments. Sometimes, the most powerful response is silence — a dignified refusal to get involved and dignify hurtful words with a reaction.

4. Practice Mindful Communication: In moments of conflict, pause and take a deep breath before responding. It would allow for choosing your words consciously, with understanding rather than escalating tension. It would facilitate you to speak from a place of clarity and compassion when faced with hostility.

5. Seek Support: You need not feel isolated. Surround yourself with a supportive network of family, friends, or people who uplift and encourage you. Lean on them for guidance and solace during challenging times. A perspective, different from yours, can offer invaluable insights and remind you of your inherent worth.



6. Cultivate Resilience: Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain; it’s about bouncing back from it. Treat each encounter with hurtful words as a chance to fortify your emotional strength. Reflect on past instances where you’ve overcome challenges to reinforce your inner resilience. Keep in mind, that you possess far more strength than any words intended to weaken you.

7. Embrace Self-Compassion: Extend kindness to yourself following verbal assaults. Provide yourself with the same level of empathy and care that you readily give to others. Understand that feeling hurt does not lessen your worth. Offer yourself the compassion and understanding you are worthy of receiving.

Endnote

In the face of hurtful words, maintaining composure is like navigating rough seas with a sturdy ship. Remember, those words often say more about the speaker than they do about you. By recognising your worth and responding with grace, you can emerge from verbal conflicts even stronger than before. So, sail on with self-awareness, empathy, and resilience as your guiding stars, knowing that you possess the strength to weather any storm. Keep shining brightly, for your worth is unwavering, and your journey is full of promise.

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