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Colonel Prashant Rawal

How to Accept That You Are Who You Are

Updated: Jul 23, 2023


Emotional self-care begins with the acknowledgment that your emotional well-being is worth taking care of. This also means accepting yourself and your feelings. This self-acceptance is directly related to self-esteem but where self-esteem is concerned with how much you like your self-image, self-acceptance is simply acknowledging and accepting that you are who you are.

Self-acceptance also acknowledges the less positive parts like your fears anger issues or feelings of self-doubt. There are many reasons for all these negative feelings; being put down, criticized, humiliated, bullied, discriminated against, and left out by others are some of them.

These negative feelings can leave most with low levels of self-worth and increased stress pressure. The high standards set in the form of unrealistic expectations can also lead to a distorted idea of your self-image.

These situations often force us thinking answers to the following questions:

  1. How often do you give yourself a hard time when you make a mistake or you screw up?

  2. Do you feel really bad if you think you’ve upset someone else or let someone down?

  3. Do you still feel guilty for something you said or did someone else years ago?

  4. Do you blame yourself if things don’t turn out the way you hoped?

  5. Do you criticize yourself when you’re unable to cope with a particular situation?

The worst is when you look around and think that others are enjoying life, you start doubting yourself, your abilities, and your achievements and tell yourself things like I’m not good enough I’ll never have a life like this.

The action plan

But let me tell you something. We all have this inner voice this self-talk. For each negative statement, see if you can contradict it with a more rational statement. E.g. “I may sometimes misunderstand, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” For each weakness or negative trait find an exception or a corresponding strength. Think about people who are your friends or who you like in spite of their unfortunate habits or undesirable traits. Try adopting the same attitude to your own traits — make friends with yourself.






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