Wounds from the Past
Past experiences in romantic relationships can leave emotional scars. Loss, abuse, neglect or tragedy and breakdown in the past will leave scars that can affect relationships in the present. The support and empathy of the person you love most can bring you much-needed healing and comfort. Because you and your partner are so close, chances are your partner has caused pain in the past more often than not. However, you must be willing to share these past hurts with your partner and understand how they affect your emotions and behavior now.
Negative Effects
Wounds of the past love relationships can affect our self-esteem and confidence, especially if the relationship ends badly. We learn many positive lessons from past relationships, but we can also endure insecurity, anger, hostility, and fear.
Sometimes people may refrain from emotional intimacy for fear of being hurt again. It’s hard to share old, fragile wounds with your partner, but by sharing you can find a safe haven where you can reopen to full love and being yourself.
The following will be of help:
Feeling resentful and scared is but natural.
You should take your partner in confidence.
Remember trust is the key to a healthy relationship.
Your partner needs to know how best to provide you with the support you need.
Discuss together how these past relationship issues can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts and what the two of you can do to alleviate them.
Are there behavioral adjustments you’d like to ask your partner for about past hurts?
What specific steps will you take to enhance compassion and understanding of each other in relation to the past?
Record this and decide how and when to initiate these changes or actions.
Stay in balance
We know how hard it is to deal with the “me” when emotions run high. Here I am talking about how to care for your partner who has hurt you. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint past events that were caused by your partner’s actions or words, but if you think about it, you’ll see a connection. Respect each other’s feelings and find solutions mutually. Always remember that you are made for each other. Keep it that way for your relationship to thrive.
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