“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity.” – Dale Carnegie
Difficult people tend to have trouble handling conflicts. Or, they see the dispute as a personal attack, so they are not interested in resolving the issue. They want to win and feel that everyone is trying to hurt their pride. Arguing can be beneficial, but it can also have a negative impact on relationships.
One way to deal with a difficult person is to keep yourself in control. It is important to realize that by controlling ourselves, we can control others. You need to understand that you don’t get angry for your own reasons. If you expect too much and go against reality, you tend to lose. It gets worse over time and causes frustration.
You have to find unacceptable realities in your life. We start by gaining self-control and letting go of misconceptions. If you want the other person to get better, you are far from reality. Don’t expect everyone to behave the way you want them to. All control begins with self-control. Most people think that getting rid of frustration is about controlling other people. It starts with controlling yourself.
If you have self-control, you can control yourself. Do not be swayed by the actions or expectations of others. Anyone can make me angry if I can’t control myself. I remain vulnerable and people can take advantage of me. Depending on the situation, people will provoke you in different ways. It is for you to recognize their intentions in time. When dealing with difficult people, remember that they don’t make you angry, upset, or sad. It is you who do so, always and every time. If you don’t control your mind, who will?
You have to learn to control your mind. Make it an important life skill to learn. Regular practice leads to self-control. Life gives us many opportunities to practice. I want people who are not good at it to see it as an “opportunity” when they are in a difficult situation. Such situations give you the opportunity to practice these new skills. With regular practice and a lot of patience, you will develop a new understanding of how to use these skills and thus become proficient.
You can also creatively combine these various cutting-edge tools into your own personal formula. Keep reminding yourself, now that I know I can handle these challenges, I feel more confident with each engagement. Apply these newly learned skills every time you interact with difficult people. Don’t take things personally. You will soon realize that you don’t have to get too worried about them. I assure you that you will have lots and lots of chances to practice and come out as a winner. Mind you though. You have not defeated a difficult person but have won over yourself.
“We are constantly being put to the test by trying circumstances and difficult and problems not necessarily of our own making.” – Terry Brooks
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