Our closest relationships can become unhealthy or even toxic. When it happens we feel vulnerable. We can safeguard our vulnerabilities by establishing healthy relational boundaries. When we ask ourselves, how we think, what our feelings and desires are, and how much of it we are ready to share with our partner, we set boundaries in our relationships. We may fail to set boundaries due to fear of:
Hurting the other person’s feelings.
Being humiliated.
Feeling guilty conscious.
Being seen as unsocial or self-interested.
Someone else’s anger.
Punishment.
Abandonment and separateness.
Being unspiritual-not going by the book.
How Do You Set Boundaries?
It is not always easy to establish boundaries. Setting boundaries at work or in personal relationships with friends and family can be very difficult. The first step is to determine the boundary line. Are the boundaries flexible or rigid? Do boundaries change depending on the person or situation? Consider the following:
It’s all about balance. The starting point is that boundaries help to maintain a balance between you and your partner because a healthy relationship thrives on the principle of give and take.
Be assertive. Let others know what is rightfully yours and what you need. This helps to appreciate the true feelings and emotions involved before they are transformed into action. Silence is equally crucial and is the best form of communication in some situations.
Show respect. An understanding arrived at with mutual respect will help. Opinions expressed by others need to be weighed carefully before being acted upon. A change in ways and style of communication has the ability to alter the rate of vibrations.
Create space. Boundaries define the space that can be used to expand an excuse. Once drawn, they must be respected. That’s what the commitment is all about. Once you do that, mutual respect is built and strengthens the relationship. Space allows you to commit and accept mistakes.
Give time but check. Your boundaries can evolve over time, so check regularly to see if your feelings about a boundary have changed. When you start to advocate for yourself and your needs, setting boundaries will become much less intimidating in the future.
Afterthought
Remember no one is perfect. In fact, looking for perfection is the genesis of most of the problems in the first place though tackling communication and setting boundaries efficiently takes you to near perfection in a relationship.
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